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Hello! I’m new to the blog and just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Sadie and my husband Steven is currently finishing his MSIII year. We’ve been together for almost 8 years, married for almost 8 months, and have been long distance for almost 3 years. That’s right…3 YEARS, almost 38 percent of our relationship! The first two years of long distance I remained in our hometown working while he was 5 hours away in Philly for his first 2 years of med school. This past year, I’ve still been working the same job and he’s been 1.5 hours away in Pittsburgh for his first year of rotations.
The long distance will soon be coming to an end, since the agency I work for is being closed and we are all being laid off in June—ironically the last day of his MSIII year will be the last day of my job. It’s a bittersweet situation as I will definitely miss my workplace, my job, and my amazing coworkers and doubt I will ever find another opportunity like that one. It’s also unnerving not knowing what will be coming up this next year…we’re still not sure where all his rotations will be. Plus, I’m waffling between finding a job where we *think* he will be for most of MSIV or taking the year off so that I can accompany him on residency interview trips and just have time to spend with him in general before the craziness of residency starts. I’m afraid taking a year off might my employment chances in the future (or I might just go stir-crazy as I’ve worked since I was 12) but I seriously think I’m leaning towards taking the year off. I mean, if I took a job, I’d be there a year or less before we had to move again for his residency and to me, making up for lost time with him is worth more than a temporary job. Even if we are eating Ramen noodles every night J.
Bottom line is though, I am overjoyed to soon be permanently living with Steven again and see him almost every day, if even for a couple of minutes (except for those pesky away rotations coming up at the beginning of MSIV ;) ). I also look forward to meeting other spouses who are married to med students or doctors because while I’ve got friends and family back here for support, none of them have any concept of what it’s like to be in my shoes and have a significant other in med school, or to be long distance…And I will admit, it’s been very frustrating not having that kind of support these last 3 years from people who truly know what you are going through firsthand, which is why I’ve found myself visiting this blog more times than I’d like to admit!
7 comments:
Sadie,
I am in a similar boat. I left my job recently with some of the same ideas in mind. My husband is just finishing MSII but for his school MSIII is far away from where he did MSII. I was lucky that I had a job I could commute to for the first while. We are looking forward to trying to spend as much time as possible together. Me not working full time is giving us the ability to work around his schedule more to get time together. We both say we are way happier even if it means that we are way poorer on the money side. I have found the medical school experience to be all about balance. With whatever choice you make do what is best for you as a couple and not what is best for anyone else. Good luck!
Thanks! It’s nice to hear your encouragement after the last couple months of constant badgering from my coworkers to apply to this job or that job, or their appalled looks when I tell them I’ve turned down a job or don’t plan on looking for one...not to mention the snide remarks of, “Oh, well, I guess you don’t need a job since you’re going to be a doctor’s wife.” Every time I just think, seriously?! You don’t even know the half of what it’s been like these past years and you’re going to pass judgment on me?! I’m glad to hear things are working out well for the both of you and I hope they only continue to get better for you. Good luck to you too!
Hi Sadie. My husband just finished his MSII as well.... I know it is a constant struggle being caught between friends and family in the "non med school world" while still being there to support your husband and your marriage. I have finally come to the realization that no matter how I try to explain the stressors/schedules/time commitments/etc...people just cannot understand what we go through. The truth is that there will always be those that try to make suggestions or make judgments about the decisions you will make. In the end you have to do what is best for you and your husband. It sounds like your heart has already made that decision for you. I think devoting that time to each other while getting squared away before residency will be great - an opportunity you are not likely to get again for a while. Enjoy....keep us posted!
Interesting that your all ladies. I searched 'married to a med student' as I'm sitting on the couch at 1am waiting for my wife to finish studying. I'm a successful corporate banker, but still find the spouse of med student thing hard.
To anonymous--I'm sure plenty of husbands with their significant others in med school find it difficult also. I think more med school wives blog and share though than med school husbands simply because women are generally more open with their feelings and wanting to "talk" everything out, whereas men tend to repress or ignore it and busy themselves with other things. (No offense to any men reading this!) No matter what your gender, the fact is that when you have a spouse/fiance/bf or gf in med school...a large part of your heart is out there being run ragged taking care of other people and leaving little time for you or to foster your relationship, and you're left taking care of everything else. Excuse the pun, but it's a tough pill to swallow whether you are male or female, successful or not. But support groups like these (not to mention utter dedication and love from both parts of the med school marriage)make it easier.
Literally had tears reading this! I can't even imagine. My story seems so easy compared to you! And, I would like to join the blog! I love it. I literally stalked it back to the beginning... HA HA :)
rebecca.smith0913@gmail.com
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