Hello med student wives!

So, I am a bit late getting myself introduced, and for some reason, thought FOR SURE I had a pictures posted up here last time I was on this site making myself a blog. Sorry! I will download one when I am home on my computer again soon hopefully so you can seemy family! :)

Just a little about my family. I am a pediatric nurse of five years here at the University of Iowa. I am currently working full time, and boy does that change things! ( I feel the need to talk about this later! ) I have been married to my highschool sweetheart for 6 1/2 years now, and together we are embarking on this new adventure called medical school. What were we thinking! ( just kidding) Dustin (my husband) is in his first year. He is also a nurse still working part time (yes, you heard right) in the surgical intensive care unit here at the U. We have a 2 year old daughter, Abigail Joy, who is the light of our life, and who makes us laugh, 24/7.

So, I must say, for my first entry, things have been tough, which is why I have sought out a blog for medical school wives! We need each other ladies! Seriously. I have a separate blog account, but feel like talking about medical school needs a blog of its own!

The biggest challenge, I have found, it that I am working full time with a child at home. We hire a friend to watch our daughter during the days that I need to sleep. ( I work 12hr nights) Because I work long hours, my husband picks her up from the sitter, I make supper while he entertains, I get her ready for bed, and bags packed for the next day at the sitters, and then try my best to put her to sleep so that my dear hubby can study as soon as I leave at 6:30pm. Well....now she isn't needing as much sleep, and has been not going to bed until 9, even 10pm sometimes, and you can see how this effects my husband and studying when I am at work. Well, tonight I talked to him ( I am at work ) and he infromed me that he did NOT do well at all on his bio chem test. My heart sank. While I know that the fail rate here at the Uof I is only1%, and that my husband surely can't be that one, I couldn't help but think that maybe I am not doing EVERYTHING I can to help him. I am planning on dropping my hours some, come December, and I think that this will make a big difference as I think me working full time has been our biggest challenge. But for now I keep racking my brain, thinking....what can I do to help? I try to make things as easy as possible with our daughter, and take care of 100% of house work, ect, but still, I have this feeling that he didn't pass this test because of me. That may sound silly, but of course I want him to do well, and I completely understand that he has to study almost 24/7, but at the same time too, I KNOW he feels guilty for doing so, and is just trying to surrive balancing school and family.

I think I may have just rambled a bunch....but wow....it feels good to write my thoughts into words. Blogs are awesome. So, I really haven't read your blogs a lot to know who has kids, who doesn't.....but please, give me your advice. My advice for those of you thinking about having children during medical school....GREAT, seriously, but I think being a stay at home mom during medical school, if it can be done, seems to be the best option for your hubby, if it works for you. It doesn't work for us right now because we decided not to move, and to keep our house that we bought before we knew we were serious about medical school. Anyway, just an FYI. :)

Look forward to reading all of your blogs, and hearing advice/struggles/joys that you have during this time in our lives!

Pelvic Exam

My husband is giving his first pelvic exam today!  Year twos at his school are assigned a Saturday, along with twelve other students, in which they learn how to give sensitive exams to men and women...and actually get to do it.  Wowza.  

Poor guy, he was pretty nervous.  I must admit, I do hope it's an old, unattractive lady for his first pelvic exam.

you know your husband is in med school when..

he comes home smelling like formaldehyde everyday!

I guess I should really say: You know your husband has been to anatomy lab when .. he comes home smelling like formaldehyde everyday!

Anatomy and supporting your spouse through anatomy could be an entire post itself! (as could every class that they take since Im sure they all bring out different challenges/rewards each time!) But at this point I feel like Anatomy is the daunting right of passage that every med school student has to go through when they start.

But then there is the Anatomy Lab..

The one where everyone works on a cadaver.

And the one that leaves them smelling like they just worked on a cadaver!

I remember the first time Freeland had anatomy lab. The second he walked in the door & I went to hug him I quickly backed away and said "Dear Lord, what is that smell?!" I mean really - its bad. Every time he came home smelling like it I secretly kept my distance until he changed or showered! And he even wears different clothes during lab so he wont smell!

Then last week he came home and I asked him if he went to get the car washed. He turned and gave me the strangest look as if I were crazy because we dont really ever get our car washed. Realizing he thought I was crazy I told him "well you smelled like leather or something so I thought maybe you got the car washed and had them put a leather or that 'new car' scent in it"

See, I wasnt that crazy! Except for the fact that he hadnt got the car washed and to me he smelled like leather for some reason.

Thats when it occurred to me - Its the formaldehyde! AHH! Im so used to it now that it smells like leather! And leather isnt even that bad of a smell.. in some cases I would say that leather actually smells good!! Okay, so it may just be allergies causing me to not be able to smell things very well..

But for the time being I can go back to hugging my husband when he gets home from school without having to plug my nose! And soon enough anatomy lab will be over and he will go back to walking in the door without leaving a smell of formaldehyde wherever he goes! Then the strange smell will be nothing but a memory! Thankfully.

*Update: I guess I spoke too soon. He came home today and I could smell it again. :) I guess the allergies (or whatever it was) didnt last too long. But, it was great while it lasted.

Whoa Baby!

To echo on Lauren's post, my husband and I are expecting our first child in April.  Adam (my husband) is in his 2nd year so we will have a child for years 3 & 4 of medical school.  So, I definitely don't think it's impossible but I think everyone's situations (financial, relationship, general readiness) is totally different so it's not a decision to be entered lightly into and it's definitely one that the two of you are going to want to be on the same page!  

Most of Adam's classmates are not married.  Out of the married ones, most do not have children. But you can't compare and there is definitely not a set 'med school pattern' for everyone.  

ANYWHOOS, one thing that I'm trying to work on is how to encourage my husband in this season.  Medical school is SO competitive and they are surrounded by lots of smarty pants.  Meanwhile, I find that my husband can be hard on himself if he doesn't meet his own expectations.  In my opinion, Adam is doing so well in medical school and is learning so much and balancing that really well with having a good time and spending lots of time with moi.  So,  I want to do specific things to let him know that I appreciate all his hard work and that I'm proud of him!  I want him to remember the goal of being a physician and treating patients and not get too caught up in the stress of weekly tests and class rank.

So, just a few thoughts.  Hope you have a great week!