October 31, 2008

Hello med student wives!

So, I am a bit late getting myself introduced, and for some reason, thought FOR SURE I had a pictures posted up here last time I was on this site making myself a blog. Sorry! I will download one when I am home on my computer again soon hopefully so you can seemy family! :)

Just a little about my family. I am a pediatric nurse of five years here at the University of Iowa. I am currently working full time, and boy does that change things! ( I feel the need to talk about this later! ) I have been married to my highschool sweetheart for 6 1/2 years now, and together we are embarking on this new adventure called medical school. What were we thinking! ( just kidding) Dustin (my husband) is in his first year. He is also a nurse still working part time (yes, you heard right) in the surgical intensive care unit here at the U. We have a 2 year old daughter, Abigail Joy, who is the light of our life, and who makes us laugh, 24/7.

So, I must say, for my first entry, things have been tough, which is why I have sought out a blog for medical school wives! We need each other ladies! Seriously. I have a separate blog account, but feel like talking about medical school needs a blog of its own!

The biggest challenge, I have found, it that I am working full time with a child at home. We hire a friend to watch our daughter during the days that I need to sleep. ( I work 12hr nights) Because I work long hours, my husband picks her up from the sitter, I make supper while he entertains, I get her ready for bed, and bags packed for the next day at the sitters, and then try my best to put her to sleep so that my dear hubby can study as soon as I leave at 6:30pm. Well....now she isn't needing as much sleep, and has been not going to bed until 9, even 10pm sometimes, and you can see how this effects my husband and studying when I am at work. Well, tonight I talked to him ( I am at work ) and he infromed me that he did NOT do well at all on his bio chem test. My heart sank. While I know that the fail rate here at the Uof I is only1%, and that my husband surely can't be that one, I couldn't help but think that maybe I am not doing EVERYTHING I can to help him. I am planning on dropping my hours some, come December, and I think that this will make a big difference as I think me working full time has been our biggest challenge. But for now I keep racking my brain, thinking....what can I do to help? I try to make things as easy as possible with our daughter, and take care of 100% of house work, ect, but still, I have this feeling that he didn't pass this test because of me. That may sound silly, but of course I want him to do well, and I completely understand that he has to study almost 24/7, but at the same time too, I KNOW he feels guilty for doing so, and is just trying to surrive balancing school and family.

I think I may have just rambled a bunch....but wow....it feels good to write my thoughts into words. Blogs are awesome. So, I really haven't read your blogs a lot to know who has kids, who doesn't.....but please, give me your advice. My advice for those of you thinking about having children during medical school....GREAT, seriously, but I think being a stay at home mom during medical school, if it can be done, seems to be the best option for your hubby, if it works for you. It doesn't work for us right now because we decided not to move, and to keep our house that we bought before we knew we were serious about medical school. Anyway, just an FYI. :)

Look forward to reading all of your blogs, and hearing advice/struggles/joys that you have during this time in our lives!

11 comments:

the Jennings secede from the South said...

Man alive, I thought that working full time while the hubby is in med school is hard enough, I can't imagine doing THAT and raising a young'un. You go girl! It sounds like you're doing an amazing job, though seriously.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and struggles! So refreshing to know that other people are walking & struggling through the same season!

Sonny and Sharyl said...

Thanks for your encouragement! I work full time too and my husband is about to start med school this fall (Mercer, Class of '13). We are still trying to decide when is the right time to start having a family and how long to wait. I get mixed messages from family members and friends (some who hold more clout than others) and we decided it has to be between us and God. Congratulations on your joint successes! Sounds like you two have it figured out, even though it will be difficult. Keep it up! It will be worth it!

Bethany said...

Can I just say that you rock and are amazing?!!!! Thanks so much for sharing, looking forward to blogging with you!

Keith and Amanda ... adventures of newlyweds said...

I'm really glad I found this blog! My husband is starting medical school at Michigan State College of Osteopathic Medicine in July, and I am applying to MSU's law school (to start in August). I was hoping there were resources like this out there, and I'm glad there are! Can't wait to read more!!!

Anonymous said...

My husband is a 2nd year med student. I am having a baby (an accident) in about a month. I work.
I am alone....that is what medical school has meant to me. The same as not being married. I go everywhere ...I am active in work, school and my religious community as well as have many friends. But, I am alone. It's nice to see your blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi My significant other and also the father of my son is also a 2nd year med student. He is out of state. We see him once or twice a year. We have a 3 and 1 year old (my daughter from a previous marraige) and I support the family right now. I work two 16 hour overnight shifts every weekend (32 hours in 2 days) so that I can stay home with them Monday through Friday with the kids. It's a hard journey, but I know he loves us. I thinks sometimes it's better that he's away, because if he does fail at something, he can't blame it on us. Today was Thanksgiving and he didn't even call or e-mail. Things get so intense at school I think he just forgets. I am really happy to find this blog. I have been looking for support.

Anonymous said...

He called! I was so happy! Two weeks and he will be home. I forgot to mention that I am a nurse too.

Ashley said...

Finding this blog tonight was heaven sent. Wow. My husband is currently interviewing for medical schools. He works at the Huntsman Cancer Institute from 3:00 to 11:00 every night. I work a 9 to 5 job and needless to say, we never see each other anymore. I guess my main question for all of you med school spouses is 1) how do you keep your relationship going? 2) how do you stay busy, productive, and feel like you're still developing your own personality and life even though it's super lonely sometimes? 3) How the heck do you have sex when you're both so tired all the time?!!! I need answers, ladies. Thanks to whomever started this blog :) I'm really going to need this.

Brooke & Freeland said...

Anonymous - thanks for sharing how things are going & your situation. I know neither of you are alone in how you feel. Feel free to join our little group or write/comment when you want to! And ever since you both commented you have been on my heart & Ive been praying for you both! Keep us posted.

Ashley - I sent you the invite. I could write a forever with my thoughts on your questions and my limited experience! Im sure everyone has something to share too! I will say this.. we were in the exact same spot while Freeland was interviewing with his job & long strange hours.. and I think in a lot of ways that was almost harder than med school. It feels a lot easier to me now since I at least see him so much more! Im thankful we had that experience before medschool too! So hopefully it will be the same for you!

Katie Cramer said...

This blog is awesome! My name is Katie my husband is Brandon, a first year med student (Ohio State), and need all the support I can get!
email address is kathrynccramer@gmail.com

Jennifer said...

My name is Jennifer & my husband is starting med school in a year & a half (if everything goes as planned!) so I've been wanting to know what it will be like for us! So glad i found this blog!

email is jenniferlinh421@yahoo.com