November 20, 2008

Response to Brooke's Post....

Okay Brooke, you have inspired me to post again because this topic really aggravates has been a while since my last post!! The main reason it has been so long is because we had a baby!! (almost 3 months ago) I guess that still does not give me an excuse because I have been keeping my own blog updated, but now I am finding more time for things...especially since Addy has become a good napper!! She is also ALMOST sleeping through the night. Please don't tell me how your baby slept through the night at 2 weeks because I have heard a lot of that lately.....I guess Addy just really enjoys being awake!

Anyways, Camille did comment that I have a great story about conversations with people about your husband being in medical school. Yes I do and it was quite a shocker coming from the elderly lady across the street. It was my husband's first week in medical school and I was outside taking a walk and when I passed by her house she stopped me to chat. Here is what I can remember of our conversation:
Neighbor: "How is Josh enjoying medical school?"
Me:"Oh he is enjoying it so far. We really like being up here."
Neighbor: "Oh well have you found a job yet?"
Me: "Yes, I will be teaching at _____ school district."
Neighbor: "Oh so does he make any money during school?"
Me: "No he doesn't while he is in school. "
Neighbor: "Well you need to be saving that money you are making teaching. Don't let him pay for his school with it."
Me: I basically just looked at her like she was crazy.
Neighbor: "My nephew went to medical school and he got married before he went to school and his wife worked all through school. When he graduated he left her for another woman and she didn't have any money. She had used all her money to pay for his school."
Me: Wondering what in the world I was supposed to say I think I muttered something like thank you and walked away.

This conversation really upset me because I had not had someone say something like that to my face. Yes I have heard all the stories about doctors leaving their first wife, etc., but there are also good doctors who love their families and put them first. Josh loves his family and medicine is not the most important thing to him. Of course I immediately called my mom to tell her this story and she said she is probably just a bitter old lady. Josh was pretty upset she said this about him and we avoided her house for quite some time.

I have now realized she is just a negative person. When I told my neighbors I was pregnant the other ladies were so excited about it. The lady across the street responded by saying "Yeah my nephew and his wife had a baby during medical school." I just ignored the comment because I was sick of hearing about it.

I am happy to say my husband will graduate May 31 and we have a 3 month old little girl. We are still happily married and I am not saving my money for myself one day!! Marriage is a partnership and right now yes I am the breadwinner, but soon he will be finished with school and I will not have to be in that position.

One more thing....when people say "Oh you are going to be a doctor's wife," I want to say...yeah we have spent 4 years living on one salary, we have used furniture in our tiny home, we both have cars with way too many miles on them, we just now got satellite tv, we have a used washing machine that shakes and sometimes moves across the floor, we used space heaters our first year in school to try to save money on our heating bill, we never pay full price for clothing, I love to shop at garage sales and we shop at Erie County Farms to get groceries a little cheaper. I love my life and we have grown so close through school, but there have been difficult times. Now we like to look back and laugh at all the things we did to "survive" school. It has definitely made us appreciate every little thing we buy now! I don't think people realize being a doctor's wife is not like it looks on television!!


em said...

Amen, sister! Don't let other people's stories scare you. I remember even within our bible study in medical school that an older, doctor's wife would talk about how SO many of their friends got divorced and the divorce rate is so high for med students, yada yada. Well, I say the same thing - they're not us. So let's just prove them wrong. :)

the Jennings secede from the South said...

That old crotchety lady...geez, Louise!

Bethany said...

Some people have no clue and no sense when to keep their mouths shut. We need to be encouraged and lifted up.

Thanks for sharing Sarah! And awesome posting everyone! I love it!