July 13, 2011

musings

on this day many, many years ago - back when it was 2009 - OrthoMan opened an email. it was the results of his Step 1 scores taken just a few weeks previously...

our family of 3 was a family of 2.5. there was 1 car, a pregnant wife/chauffeur, {future} Orthoman, and enough stress and anxiety to fill Yankee Stadium.

it was early in the morning when we set out on the 20 minute drive to the testing center. there was 7 weeks of INTENSE preparation leading up to this one test. we didnt really speak because we were both so freaked out. i mean, this one effing test would determine the rest of our lives!!! and as everyone here knows, that's really not an overstatement. i gripped the steering wheel so tightly that my hands hurt when i got home. i was convinced that my lil heart would explode at any minute, which would distract Orthoman while he was taking his test and cause him to fail said test and have his life ruined TWICE in one day. yikes.

i dont remember much about that day because frankly, i went home and slept for most of the day. except for when i went to Coldstone for lunch. and got the love it size. in a waffle cone. with 2 mix-ins.

since we had only 1 car i had to guess when he might be finished. i showed up about an hour earlier than he suggested. then i waited an hour and a half to see him. i had on NPR and pretended to listen to The Splendid Table {great program, btw}. and then i saw him. he walked out with his bf/bff/study buddy/comrade/etc. he nodded in my direction, acknowledging my presence, but didnt move from his spot. he stood there an extra 43 minutes (YES! i counted). i wanted to smack him, but instead i gave him a kiss when he got into the car and gave him a cheesy grin.

but he sat there. that ass just sat there not saying anything. "i didnt fail it, but i didnt do much better than passing."

it almost killed me. i reassured him as best as i could. of course he didnt fail!

but what if he did? what if my husband, whose friends commended him for studying the hardest and longest, actually failed. i wanted to strangle him and scream. i wanted to yell and shout, "how can you do this to us?!?! i've given EVERYTHING to make this work and to support you!" {and those thoughts were in no way fueled by my pregnancy hormones, i swear}.

instead, i said, "do you still want to go to Red Robin and get some dinner?"

a few weeks later i was sitting at my desk at work. my feet were being propped up by a box of office paper and i was on the phone with one of the partners, trying to figure out where the numbers must have been transposed on a statement. it was about 90 billion degrees outside and 4473% humid {once again, i am in no way exaggerating). the conversation was lasting longer than my bladder and i was dying. the last thing on my mind was {future}Orthoman. then i got a text. it said nothing except three numbers. i re-read it 4 or 9 times to make sure i got it right.

2-he kicked-ass

after a month of preparing for the worst and expecting nothing, here it was. he was home free. he had license to become WHATEVER he wanted! we could go into any field we wanted! we managed to break through the glass ceiling.

i just wish he had some idea of what he wanted to go into.

---

i'm an orthowife, and this is my life.

6 comments:

Kate said...

My husband just got his score yesterday...he killed it:) I can totally relate to each and everything you said here!

Anonymous said...

Hi there,
My husband got his score back yesterday, and while he passed, unfortunately he didn't do very well. Has any one had this experience? Any advice? Thanks in advance!

anorthowife said...

Hey Anon,

Since you're posting under Anon I can't directly respond to you. but have faith!!!

I have a very good gf whose DrH came to med school to go into plastics. his dad and brother and BFF were all plastics and gosh darn it, that's what he was going to do!!!

except he definitely wasn't a plastics kind of guy. his temperament, personality, and even his family life was MUCH better suited for something along the IM lines. everyone (but him) KNEW he would be an INCREDIBLE IM/FM doc. but not him.

so he studied for step 1. and worked hard. and ya know, he scored very low. his wife and little girls were devastated. when it came to residency apps he did his best. and it got him 3 plastics interviews. but he threw a few IM apps out there and he got every. single. interview. come match day, he found himself at a top IM program, near family (lucky!), and guess what?

he LOVES it.

I was talking to his wife before they moved and she told me that DrH was sp hell-bent on plastics, that she believed God made him bomb the test just so that he could get him where he needed to be. and I completely agree.

so Anon, don't worry! he'll go where he's supposed to. life has a funny was of working itself out! email me if you have any other questions!

Anonymous said...

My husband is doing ortho & didn't "nail" the boards. I think it's great that a lot of people do well. It gives them the confidence and ability to apply to great programs but a test doesn't always define the type of doctor you are going to be or should be. I know its competitive & most places require a certain score but it isn't always the case. I just wanted to encourage you since it sounds like you're in the same boat. We trust the Lord with the desires & abilities he has given my husband and watching the Lord allow that to unfold as we just keep taking a step forward has been awesome.

Practically, I'll tell you that a lot of programs are out there that say they care more about who you are than your scores. It will just take your husband asking around & seeking them out. They obviously take scores into account but if they like your husband and want him there I think that's what matters. Also, programs just told my husband that they only cared to see improvement from step 1 to step 2 of boards to show that he was learning. Of course its required more work taking this path but it is possible! Hope that helps.

Anonymous said...

Thanks everyone! Sorry for posting anonymously, I just didn't think I should put that info out there on the internet. Thanks so much for all your replies, I can't tell you how much better we both feel having read them :)

Ashli and Anthony said...

I love this. My husband is going into his second year and this makes me so excited for this time next year when he takes the Step One. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story!!!