January 22, 2010

Feeling selfish

Hi ladies,

I knew you of all people would understand this post. My husband is in second semester of second year. This semester is supposed to be lighter, but whatever that means! ;) Hub has had a hard time getting into his books this time around, and hasn't done as much studying as he needs to.

I am feeling a bit selfish today though. I asked him to go to a marriage conference at our church here in town, tonight 7-8:30pm and tomorrow 8:30-11:30.(I forgot about it, so just told him today :( ) This obviously cuts out on study time, which he hasn't done a lot of. On the other hand, medical school is stressful on a marriage, and things like this come around once a year (in which I never make it to because I always have worked during it) I know that he is going with me because he loves me dearly, and isn't selfish, but I can tell he really wants to study.

Should I have just forgot about it, especially since it was so last minute, and he hasn't gotten to study much, or do you think it is important to make every effort to do these things, or if they are even worth the time? I am just hoping I am doing the right thing. I KNOW he will pass his classes, but it still makes it stressful, ya know? I will take your honest thoughts, no worries. :)


Mel and Scott said...

While the conference would give you a chance to be with other couples what you really need is quality time together. Spend half the time that the conference would require of you together and the other half let him study. Make that time together meaningful. No housework, no talk about the mundane stuff. Use that time to reconnect, read scripture together, talk about the difficulties in your life. Get down and dirty about the stresses in your life. This will not be the last conference that you come across that you are interested in going to. You hear the phrase "choose your battles" often enough in life. This is one of those times. What is really important? If you feel like you need the help and guidance that the conference could bring you find an older couple whose been in your shoes. That has always been the most helpful for me. I have a dear friend at church whom I can simply walk up to and say "this sucks" and she understands and can offer guidance. Most marriages don't work like a medical marriage. Those are a unique animal onto themselves. Most importantly pray about it. Good Luck!

Married to a med student - Marissa Nicole said...

See if you can get the lecture/conference on tape - I know sometimes they sell them. That might be a good compromise? I'm sorry you are in that position as I do think it could be a great thing, but since its last minute it may be hard to push it because he wasn't exactly planning for it.

Ashley said...

If you feel like you really need to attend this conference and it would be beneficial for your marriage, I say go. I'm learning that the best way to keep my marriage strong during medical school is to just make good use of the small moments. I need to be more cheerful, fun, playful, and sincere during the small moments that we have together. I think it's good that you have a desire to go to this marriage conference. I think people get into trouble when they just stop caring. It's just two days. Don't worry about it so much and just go have a good time with your husband :) Hang in there.