As the end of med school draws nearer Scott and I have begun to wonder if now would be a good time to expand our family. I'm a school teacher and thus bring in the only other income aside from loans. I've seen from past post that some of you have kids. What would your advice be? Would 4th year be a good time to have kids or should we wait until his internship year? I'm a little older than my husband and will be 35 when he gets out of med school thus the desire not to wait too long. I really want to hear what it's been like for others so that we can make the right choice for us. Thanks!
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16 comments:
I would love to hear comments on this too! Please share!
Josh and I are pregnant with our first! He will be here the beginning of April. Josh is in his second year of med school and the baby will be here 2 months before Step 1 boards. Good timing? NO. But lets be honest, I dont think there is ever going to be a good time for this. There may be better times then others, but if you really want to do it, then go for it! He will only get busier and busier! Thats only my opinion and one opinion... but we are very excited and feel like its a good time for us to start our family. In my opinion, its all about what you want to do as a family. No one can really tell you whens the best time for you. Good luck! :) Plus, nothin better than a little tag along to keep you company along the long road of school!
We are in the same boat - fourth year med school - and wondering when the best time to have kiddies will be.... I know that the intern year is hectic, well, probably much more than hectic. I'm a teacher, too, with little income, and I'm worried about a few things: 1. How can we afford the child with our debt load? 2. How can we afford the child with our current debt load AND the fact that the government will make us start paying back the loans six months after he graduates. 3. What happens if I want to stay home with our baby? Can we afford this? As you can see, our biggest fear is money and how we'll provide the best possible life for our future child with the current financial situation we're in. Does anyone have any advice?!
I hope y'all enjoyed a blessed Thanksgiving :) :)
sHp
now is as good as any. :) You can do it, a lot of us do!
We had our first kiddo during April of Adam's 2nd year...then he had a lot of flexibility until rotations started on June 1st b/c he was studying for boards. I worked until 2 weeks before our son was born and now I do stay at home. When we first started med school, we didn't even consider having a baby- we didn't think it was possible. However, we saw people further along than us doing it and talked about how it was done...what our options were... etc. A lot of people said that med school rotations were much less hectic than residency and it just seems like there is no perfect time. And, after some prayer, felt peaceful about going for it! It's worked out very well so far!
My hubby (Freeland) & I are currently prego with our first child. He is in his second year of med school and the baby will be here 2 months before his first round of boards. (pretty much the same exact time frame as Adam & Camille... and Ali & Josh)
This wasn't exactly planned. We always thought we would wait until 4th year or maybe even residency -- mostly because of financial reasons!
But now that we are somewhat on the other side of it - I honestly cant imagine waiting. No, it wont be perfect. Yes, it will be challenging figuring out how to work & raise a child. But I honestly still feel like for us its a great time. its been a huge blessing already.
There are also a few other girls here that have had babies during the 4th year and it worked out great for them too!
As far as paying back loans goes - I know some of the couples we have talked to got their loans differed. Is that possible for yall to do?
I'm not exactly an expert on making it financially work. For us, I plan to keep working. But that’s mostly because of different needs we have and where we are at financially. I know its possible to make it work without having to keep your job. There are a lot of families here that do it. So that probably just depends on you & your hubby. I'm sorry I don’t have better advice! Hopefully next year I can tell you better! :)
From what I have seen so far it seems like the biggest issue is more about being on the same page than making it work financially. As long as you are BOTH ready & feel like it’s the right time - it seems to work out just fine!
wow! That was really long. Sorry.
Hey ladies. I hope it's OK that I'm posting on here. I have no idea how I came across this blog... but anyway I read this post and feel compelled to comment.
I was pregnant with our first child the first year of residency and she was born right before the second year of residency. If we could do it again, we DEFINITELY would have had her during medical school. The first year of residency is stressful enough as it is, and adding my pregnant hormones to the mix added a ton of stress. We also stressed about my husband's schedule and his ability to take time off after she was born. (He's a surgery resident so his hours are bad). He was with me during my 24 hours of labor but the next day he had to return to work. And he JUST had his first vacation since she was born in July. Don't get me wrong, he saw her after work, but he was stressed and tired and only got a few hours with her a day.
So yeah, if we could do it again, we'd DEFINITELY have a kid in medical school. Don't worry about money. You can make it work. The most important thing is spending time with your lovely new baby. You have the time during medical school. You won't have that kind of time during the first year of residency. Believe me. And like others have said, money is always going to be a problem. We don't have a lot of money but we've managed with lots of hand me downs, gifts from family, etc.
Best of luck on your decision!
If you wait until you have enough time or money you will never have a child!
I think it will depend on your school but I know as far as my husband his fourth year was all electives which allowed for a LOT of flexibility. For that reason many plan to have a baby during this time.
Ofcourse it will also depend on the specialty your spouse is choosing. My husband is applying to a fairly competitive program and as a result he needed to do THREE (month long) away rotations and we are hoping to fit in OVER 15 interviews. For that reason this year would not have been the ideal time for a baby for us. It was hard enough having my husband gone for three months and now he is gone (traveling for interviews) most of Nov-January.
But our case is pretty unusual. For his friend having a baby just last week the timing has been perfect because he is home so much (because he only did one away rotation in the fall) and he made his schedule to have most of November, December and January off, and while he has interviews, it is only a handful - so he will have lots of time to help his wife and bond with the baby.
Good luck whatever you decide. And also you get to defer your loans for the first three years of residency (which means you do not have to pay interest on the loans). After 3 years you can forbear which means you don't have to make payments but you DO acquire interest.
Wow thanks for all of the advice ladies! I feel so blessed to have so many people to get advice from. After prayer and discussion we have decided to try this summer to get pregnant. This way I can teach until March or April and then take my 3 months of maternity leave. Once my leave is over school will be out for the year and we'll be ready to move to our next new town. All that being said it really is up to God and his plans for us. I agree with all of you about finances, if we wait for the right time we'll never have kids. :) Thanks so much for your words of wisdom.
Wow, I would be really pissed off if I knew my child's teacher was planning on getting pregnant so she could take off right before the end of the school year. I am not sure what kind of teacher you are, but obviously not one that cares about her students.
I am speaking from experience I can remember the horrible subs filling in for months for teachers on maternity leave. A sub teacher is one that only needs a bachelors degree... not too hard to get, most to it for the money and not for the students. So I, as a parent would be super PO'd d
wow, the anonymous post was mean. Teachers should get to have babies whenever they want just like every one else.
past that... I am a mother to a two year old and my husband will be starting medical school in the spring. We will probably wait until Residency to have another baby because of money. I work full time and we'd have to have enough money to pay daycare for another child.
Good luck!!
Not to start making this a discussion on here since the original question was about having babies in med school - not being a teacher and maternity leave. But I would say 100% of all the teachers I know have planned theirs that way. I honestly dont know one that doesnt. I think its up to the school to provide a qualified sub not something you should have to worry about.
I'd like to address anonymous's displeasure at what is a personal and private decision. Every teacher I know would not appreciate anyone outside of their family deciding when and where they should be having children. As for the question "What kind of teacher are you?" I am an excellent educator who has spent the past 10 years dedicating my life to special needs students. Essentially I have raised many children over the past 10 years and am ready to focus some time on my own. I have also received national recognition of the contributions I make to not only my students but to education of the special needs population as a whole. There is nothing magical or special about the end of the school year. In fact that is when the least new material is introduced to my students and a rather intense review of material learned through the year is begun. I personally feel that I would be doing my students more of a disservice by interrupting their instruction in the middle of the year. Also many subs that are working in my district this year are actually former teachers whose jobs were cut due to budget cuts. I have two wonderful special ed teachers sub for me this year when I had to be out. So anonymous you are entitled to your opinion but you may not dictate to my wonderful husband and I when I start a family. I've given 10 years of my life to other people families and now it is time to start my own. To the other ladies I thank you for your continued support.
I am a bit late in commenting but I was in a very similar situation last year. (Teacher, husband in 4th year of med school.) Our son was born in January of my husbands 4th year and I am so glad we had him during med school. Actually, now that I see the difference between the time requirements of med school and residency, I wish we had had him even earlier than we did! I know everyone's experiences will be different but this intern year has been really challenging. We are hoping to have more children during residency/fellowship but med school was really a great time to start!!
And as far as the money goes, I am staying home now and we just got the notice today that we have to start paying our loans back. There are options though. We are choosing to go into economic hardship which is what I think most people do because there is no way that you can afford those payments on a resident's salary alone. This means we aren't paying anything now but the loans are accumulating more and more interest that we will have to pay back. And although this seems scary to keep accumulating debt, many practices and jobs offer loan repayment as part of a signing bonus. And if you don't have loans to pay off, then you lose this money.
I'll add my two cents too. I posted about this a few months ago on this blog (see here: http://medschooltagalongs.blogspot.com/2009/03/babies-on-budget.html).
I agree, residency is more difficult but still totally possible. We had one in med school, one in residency, and are expecting to have more in residency. The timing was a huge blessing with the first since hubby was off a ton in his 4th year. I stay at home with our kiddos and though sometimes the budget is really tight, I wouldn't trade it for the world and we're more than comfortable.
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