March 8, 2009

Please allow me to introduce myself

My name is Marissa, I currently reside in central Illinois where I live with my husband who is a third year medical student. I just spent the afternoon reading through all the prior blog posts - and I must say it was quite refreshing. So many of the posts reflected the exact thoughts and feelings that have gone through my mind and it was a relief to know that I am normal and not alone.
In adding to your comments about what people have told you about marrying a doctor, I would like to add that I am a new attorney so you can imagine the comments I get. We are going into the two professions that are infamous for divorce. Most of the lawyers that I am around tell me to make sure that I get something in writing since I am "putting my husband through med school" (although my wages aren't even enough to help pay for tuition), and since my firm does quite a bit of family law they will always tell me about all the doctor's divorces they are working on -and my thoughts are "you don't know my drew." And although others probably view us as ignorant - it is calming to know that there are others who feel the same way. I'm sorry but your career doesn't cause your marriage to fail; people cause a marriage to fail. I'd like to think that all that we are going through now is strengthening our marriage, and personally I think it gives our marriages an advantage. Spouses who enter the picture after medical school won't have the same bonds as we have gotten.
For wives in their first and second years I'd like to post in the future about why I love third year. And since we're gearing up to apply for residencies (yay!) I'd love to hear from some fourth year and resident's wives!
Please introduce yourselves by stopping by my blog!


Amanda said...

I was so excited to see your post! I am starting law school in August and my husband starts med school in July. I definitely hear the comments too! I would love to hear more from you about your experience not only as the wife of a med student, but as a lawyer married to a med student! Thank you!

Sharyl said...

I was a family law paralegal while I was applying for law school (consequently, I discovered being an attorney was not in my cards). When I told the partners I was marrying a future doctor, they instantly launched into a cases they had where the husband/doctor cheats on his wife who supported him with nurse/fellow doc/patient. Im thinking, "Gee, thanks" and, like you, "you dont know my husband...". Other people were telling me to get a prenup in case he leaves me after I supported him through school and then I am left with nothing. However, like you said, people end marriages, not careers. Hats off to you for pursuing your ambitions!! I think the most important part of marriage is making time to communicate and enjoy each other. If you both are committed to making it work, it will.