September 9, 2008

remember that time I said I would post?

Well I wasn't lying. I just didn’t say when I would post. Don’t get me wrong, I thought about posting all the time. I even had ideas of what to write... but I just never got around to doing it. Now I can’t remember any of those ideas! Bummer.

I think the hard part is I don’t really know who I’m writing this to or for. Is it for anyone to read? for myself? For someone to find when they google “med school wife”? ect. So I guess I will just ramble! Lucky you.

Here is a little catch up:

The husband started classes and is now in his 2nd month of school. Starting out this whole process of my husband going to med school wasn’t half as bad as I thought it would be! Honestly! In terms of our marriage it really hasnt changed anything at all.

I remember feeling excited about him starting & genuinely looking forward to it and then thinking "am I naive or missing something here?" .. Because all everyone else was telling me was how hard it would be and there I was not that worried.

Of course I had my days when I would let fear, anxiety, and my imagination get the best of me and would start to worry about things like:

What if we grow apart?
What if I’m not interesting to him anymore since I don’t know medical stuff?
What if I never see my husband again because he studies all the time?
What if I am miserable?
What if he is miserable?
And if I’m being honest: what if there is some cute smart single girl in his class that happens to think he is cute?

Those are just a few examples of thoughts I had when I thought about what everyone else told me & didn’t acknowledge what I knew to be true. The peace I had was really because the Lord planned this out for us - not because I was naive!

I will say that I don’t think anyone is wrong for warning me or saying all those things to me - things like: "yikes - med school - that’s going to be so hard. I’m so sorry yall have to go through that" "oh my parents were married when my dad was in med school and my mom was miserable" or even the "my only advice is never let your guard down"

WHAT? It’s my husband - pretty sure it is okay to let my guard down with him!

Thankyouverymuch

But I don’t blame them. They don’t know what it feels like to be the one in the situation. They are only trying to help. And its okay to know what other people think or have experienced. Its good to have perspective.

I will say this though.. so far (my 1 month in) it hasn’t been bad at all. My time with Freeland hasn’t changed. I very much feel a part of his med school life. (even though I don’t understand half of the vocabulary he uses now) and I actually really enjoy this season we have entered.

The things that have been an adjustment & hard at times really just have to deal with us moving to an entirely new side of the country.. not with med school. Thats another subject for another time though.

Just wanted share how I felt like all the warnings and fear that other people share with you isn’t always the case. Not that it’s a piece of cake .. but that’s life. More later.

3 comments:

Jeff and Lauren said...

Good advice Brooke! I felt the same way before coming and had tons of warnings. Friends of ours were even warned to think twice about getting married before they came to med school...by their pastor! Jeff is in his 4th year now and I still feel like I get tons of quality time with him.

Sonny and Sharyl said...

Wow, you took the words right out of my head. I used to work for an attorney and I have seen so many cases where the husband goes to med school and then he leaves her (or she leaves him) because of the stress/a cute nurse/ etc. But I think the most important thing is to make time for each other and focus on quality over quantity. If you do something nice like make him lunch when you know he will be studying all day, I'm sure he wont forget it. I cant tell you ladies how much I appreciate this blog. People to commiserate with and someone who understands. Best of luck,

-Sharyl

Brewer Family said...

I hear ya there! Everyone has a litte bit to say about medical school. My husband Stan is in his first year. We have a 4month old too so life gets busy and crazy and lonley, but it isn't as hard as everyone makes it sound. It is totally do-able!
samira, Mesa, AZ