May 12, 2008

Enjoy the experience, you will never get it back!

Moving to Erie was a huge change and adventure for my husband and I. We both grew up in a small Texas town and we went to college 30 minutes away. We met my senior year of college and dated for 6 months. After 6 months we were engaged and 6 months later we were married. I remember when we first met he told me he wanted to be a doctor. Of course I was so in love that it all sounded wonderful. I was warned by family members and friends about being a "doctors wife," but it didn't really bother me. I remember a month before our wedding my husband and I were sitting around the table with my family trying to choose music for our wedding reception. My poor husband was sitting there with his MCAT books in front of him trying to study and also take part in our conversation. That night was the first time it really hit me that I might not always have all his attention.
Once the MCAT was over and we were married, it was time to fill out applications for medical school. That was an ordeal in itself considering my husband only wanted to apply to osteopathic schools. There is only one in Texas so I knew we didn't have much of a chance to stay close to home. He first was accepted to a school in Florida and we were ready to move. Instead though he fell in love with Erie and that is how we ended up here!
Our first year here was a huge change. We had been married for a year and we were used to both teaching school and having the exact same schedule. I got a job teaching close to Erie and Josh started his first year at LECOM. His first day was a little lonely for me because I didn't know many people and I hadn't started to work yet. I actually cried that day because I thought this would be the rest of my life. I honestly think that day was the worst day ever when it came to missing my husband. Once school began for me and we got used to his schedule, we actually saw each other quite a bit. In order to save money, we knew we had to live on a budget. We found lots of fun, cheap ways to go out together and spend time together. Every Friday night we went to Wegmans to share a $6.99 14 " sub sandwich and then to Barnes and Noble to study. I was working on my masters so we were able to study together! That worked out very well! We also spent time out on the beach, running together, biking together, walking around the mall window shopping and taking long scenic drives! I truly believe that first year made our marriage so much stronger. I would have never learned how to truly depend on God and my husband if we had not had to move so far away. It has been extremely hard to be so far away from my family, but then again it makes the holidays more fun!
Now my husband is about to be a 4th year medical student and we are expecting our first baby this September. Even though we initially said we would not have a baby until residency, we realized God has different plans! Medical school has prepared us for this new journey because we have learned to depend on each other for help. It is hard to be so far away from family, knowing a new baby is on the way. However, it has also been a wonderful time for us to continue to grow together and prepare for what God has in store! Now that we are close to the end of medical school I am so glad we have had this experience together. I don't think I would ever be able to truly appreciate how hard doctors work if I had not actually experienced it for myself.
Two things that really bother me:
1) When people tell me stories about how doctors cheat on their wives and how they ignore their families.
2) When people tell me how lucky I am to be married to a doctor and how rich we will be one day. I know people say it to make me happy, but I also want them to realize that my husband has worked extremely hard to become a doctor and we have both made sacrifices to see his dream come true. It is not all about money.

One piece of advice my mom once told me: Doctors spend their day constantly solving problems, making choices, and constantly thinking about how they are going to save a life. Instead of making their life miserable when they come home by nagging them about why they are late or making them feel bad about having to work, make the time at home as special as possible so they love coming home to you and the family.

(I also agree with all of Camille's advice!!!)


Lauren said...

I agree Sarah! Moving away for med school (or for any other reason) is hard because it does pull you away from family and comfortable things but it really does teach you to be a team. I feel like our marriage has been strengthened and like you said, I appreciate the holiday time that I have with my family even more.

the Jennings secede from the South said...

You're right- we're going to come out stronger and better hopefully!

Anonymous said...

I just have a question... How do you get through the OB-GYN rotation? I'm just a little hung up on that right now.

Jamie F said...

I am also having a very difficult time with my hubby going into his OB/GYN rotation... We don't have any children yet and I don't want that to ruin the births of his children (when we finally have kids). I'm also afraid it will turn him off and he will pull away from me.. Anyone have any advice?

The Allen Family said...

I had that same concern because throughout my pregnancy Josh seemed to know everything and everything was new to me. However, things were so different when Addy arrived. I was really glad he knew what to do and hr knew how to comfort me. I promise it is alot different when it is your own baby!!