I Survived!

Hi! So I was one of the first few girls to start this blog and I have to be honest and say that I have been really bad at keeping up, etc. Tonight I read some of the posts and now that we are in our last year of my husbands EM residency and he has a job lined up for July, it seems really strange that this whole adventure is almost over. We went to med school 24 hours away from all our family so I knew no one and was a bit of a hermit our first year. I tried to be supportive, but it was so hard sometimes because I was really lonely. I remember not wanting my husband to see me crying so I would drive around and listen to sappy music and just cry! The hardest was calling home when everyone was together. I spent our first year there feeling very sorry for myself and counting down how many days I had until I went home, or we had visitors. Of course there were a lot of fun times too, but I remember that year being very stressful. I know my husband felt very guilty about this because we had always lived close to family so I tried to act like I was okay. One day a friend told me i needed to stop wishing away my life and I realized how true that was. I was a teacher so I started making friends with people at school and we started a girls group of med school wives (the creators of this blog) and it helped tremendously. I also started my masters, which was so fun because we studied together all the time. Of course we were so poor that I had to take my own coffee in a Starbucks cup so it would look like I bought something and we found a great place that had wonderful sub sandwiches for 7 bucks that we could split. The studying became our date nights and we spent a lot of that time at Barnes and Noble and I would just look at magazines some nights. We still laugh because those were some of the best years of our lives. We learned alot then and I had no idea how easy I had it. We didn't have kids, so I was free to do whatever I wanted to do. I wish I had taken more advantage of the freedom now that we have two kids! I got pregnant, which was totally not planned, during my husbands third year and had our daughter the evening he had taken his step 2 or 3...I can't remember. She was 3 weeks early! That was stressful because I wanted him to be into the pregnancy and he was, but he also had that hanging over him. I had to go back to work and my inlaws moved in with us in a three bedroom mobile home so they could keep the baby (talk about making yourself go crazy) so that was incredibly hard, but I survived and it has made me appreciate staying home with my kids now. I really try to be as supportive as I can and talk about everything with him. We put our kids to bed early so we have time every night (of course when he is off) to talk. I am president of our resident wives group, we hang out with other resident couples and it really makes it easier to make it through these hard times. My mom told me to always make him want to come home and don't be the nagging wife who always complains and basically makes him turn away from me. So when he is home I try to respect his need to study and take the kids out, but I also plan fun things we can do as a family and our daughter loves it. I also tell him all the time how much I appreciate how hard he works. Yes, I did go through a really hard few years and I did have to suck it up and be tough, but now we are very comfortable financially, he has an awesome job only working 15 shifts a month and making a great salary, we are moving close to family and we have been blessed with two wonderful children. My husband and I both have respect for each other because we both know how hard we have worked to get here. There has been a lot of sacrifices made, but I promise that eventually it is all so worth it and you will look back and have wonderful memories of medical school and residency. I am sad to leave this stage, but very excited for the next big move! Hang in there, you will survive!


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Cheerleading 101.

I always feel a lot more behind in this process than most of you (way to go, residency wives!) and I am always extremely grateful for your wisdom and glimpse into the future. My husband is officially registered for his Step 1 test date and is starting to get a little nutty about it. He's scheduled for June 7th and has a really solid plan laid out for his studies. He's been reviewing First Aid case studies once a week with a group of friends for about four or five months now and I know he's working really hard to stay on top of everything.

I looked back in the tags, but couldn't find a specific post, so my question is this: what was your role in Step 1 prep? I want to help him to be as successful as possible and I know that requires a crazy time commitment from him (especially in the 6-8 weeks before the exam) and emotional support, but was there anything specific you did (or have heard about) that your doc thought was really helpful? Or was there something you did (or would do differently) to maintain your personal sanity? Right now I'm in reassurance mode, constantly reminding him he's ahead of the game, he's working hard, everything will be fine, etc. 

Thank you, as always, for the advice.