Formal Support Systems

Hello fellow med school tagalongs!

My name is Ashley, my husband is Christian (MS2), and we hail from sunny Arizona! I am also in graduate school working on my nursing master's for midwifery and women's health nurse practitioner, so we live in a house of healthcare providers. Because we're both super busy with school, there are great days and there are less than great days. I've learned to lean on my support systems to help work through the tough days.

Speaking of which, my post today is more of a question: Does your school provide a formal support system (group/network) specifically for partners of the medical students?

At the beginning of first year, they held a dinner for families/spouses/boyfriends/girlfriends of the students with a panel of MS2 - MS4s, answering questions and sharing their experiences. I found this sooo helpful, but as the year passed I found myself not as connected as I'd hoped with other spouses/partners. I did things with the group of students my husband rolls with, but spouses/partners were not always in tow and the topic of discussion was always....med school! I happened to bump into one wife at an event and we developed a friendship. I babysit her kiddos occasionally, she shares her wisdom with me (her husband is a year ahead of mine), and we're able to commiserate and understand each other as we are experiencing similar challenges in our lives.

I decided this year that I'd love to develop these friendships with other spouses and encourage networking and connections between other spouses with like situations (spouses with kids, husbands of med students, etc.) I decided to start a group to plan the occasional activity together so we can all meet each other and help each other through the four magical years we're spending together.

To me, this blog is a similar idea: people with similar life experiences sharing stories, antics, advice and support. And it's working! :)

So, my question is this: What is your experience with formal groups for support persons? How are they organized, what kind of stuff do you guys do? If not, what kind of things would you want to see in such a group? Any advice?

Loan Consolidation

Does anyone have any tips or suggestions when consolidating student loans? There are a lot of websites out there but not sure which ones are credible. I'd love to know what you all think before I start this process. Thanks! 

You're Not Crazy!

Hello Dearies,

First off, a little bit of housekeeping: if you are interested in being a contributor on this blog, just leave a comment on this post with your email address. You will be added as an author.

Second off, if you are new to the med school game, we want to hear how you're doing and how your first year is and what your fears, worries, concerns, hopes and favorite colors are. We want to know it all, so bring it on. There's nothing we enjoy more here than dishing out advice and reliving our MS1 days.

As for me, my husband is in his first year of residency. We attended medical school in Pennsylvania and now, two babies later, we're back in Texas. Folks, coming out the other side, I can say that there are so many things that I miss about medical school! Namely, my girls' group of medical peeps- they were our family for those four years, spending holidays together and doing showers and grilling out and general shenanigans.

My number one piece of advice for entering medical school is to not hold back. Don't let yourself have the mindset of, let's just get this over with. Live in your new city like it's where you'll be until you die- not just a place you have to survive for four years. I wept and grieved when we left Pennsylvania but I was glad that I could- I was thankful that we had formed such deep relationships and really lived while we were there.

I'll update soon about residency (which I'm quite happy with, despite the fact that my husband is working only 5 p.m. to 5 a.m. shifts this entire month) and the beauty of that first paycheck. (Small but sweet).

ruined forever

5 years ago, orthoman was a lowly MSI. this would have been the end of his first week of med school. he biggest fear wasnt that he would fail out of med school, or that he would get overwhelmed by everything, or even that he would make friends. no, he was afraid to be "that guy".

what guy? that guy. you know, the guy who walks into the anatomy lab for the first time and faints. the guy that gets sick when they make that first incision into the cadaver. yeah - THAT one. at 6' 3" and 250lbs, he imagined standing there in a group, with a petite girl standing in front of him. then, the professor takes out the scapel and BOOM! he falls forward in a dead faint, knocking some poor, unsuspecting girl down with him. i still laugh when i imagine that.

but luckily for him, that never happened. in fact, he was really proud of how well he stomached everything. okay, well, he did admit to feeling a little queasy for the first few minutes, but he toughened up right after that...

i started working a few weeks after we moved and we decided to go have a nice dinner to celebrate the new job, his finishing the first month of med school, and our first $44,000 tuition bill. so we looked up an italian restaurant with good reviews and were off!

dinner was AMAZING. well, my dinner was. orthoman cant really comment on how his was... because he decided to take the waiter's recommendation and ordered a sausage risotto dish. when the plates were set in front of us, he literally DRY HEAVED. that's right folks, he was immediately nauseated by the sight of his dish. apparently, sausage and risotto looks eerily similar to one's body fat and his cadaver happened to be a particularly large woman.

it's been 5 years and let me tell you... neither one of us has eaten risotto since!

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if you found this story/image upsetting, then you are CLEARLY the wife of a first year med student because as the years pass you become completely numb to any and all things related to the human body. seriously. we had dinner with a fellow intern and his wife last weekend and the things our husbands were talking about would have made any normal person sick just overhearing it. get used to it babe, cause it's par for the course!

AND WELCOME ALL NEW MED WIVES!

the journey is long but man, you'll get some great stories out of it!