I didn't get the job....

I'm hurt. My stomach is in knots. I have less than 4 weeks to find a job if not then 500 miles away is where I'll be for the next year...away from my husband. I guess God is the only one who knows what plan he has ahead for me. I'm just feeling disappointed in myself. I had a really good interview 2 weeks ago, but I walked out of there not fully satisfied with it. Yesterday I recieve an email saying that the position I applied for was not yet available and then today I get another email stating that another applicant has been selected for the position I was interested in. Back to the drawing board. It's just overwhelming and I feel like I'm drowing.

House Cleaning

Hi lovely friends,

First of all, if you have asked to be added as an author on this blog but have not received an invitation email, leave a comment on this post with your email address and I will get one to you ASAP! Sorry if I've missed you!

Secondly, encourage your med school loved one today. They get a lot of beat downs during these four years and there's no way to know everything. Those folks are in an atmosphere of competition and negativity and they probably need a little encouragement today from their main squeeze (that's you)!

Lastly, YOU'RE awesome. Way to take care of your medical student, even when it's challenging and lonely and frustrating! I hope you have a great week, lovely!

Growing pains...

It has been an intense and emotionally difficult week for us. We've fought over the smallest things that seem so miniscule in scale, but we've managed to make it grandeur. We've also fought about the most important things in life that make me contemplate and question, "how in the world do we make this better"? He said something today that made me pause...he feels that I resent him. He says its the way I've acted since I've moved up here with him. According to him I have been "edgey", and "defensive". He would like for me to stop worrying and just relax. Things I worry about: our finances, finding a job up here, and his studies. We now have a mortgage to pay! I am having a difficult time finding a job up here so because we have a mortgage I may have to move back 500 miles south where I already have a job, just so we can pay for this home that he'll be in. Last, this past week he decided to try studying with a group. The group consists of 3. Him, our roommate, and a girl who is always with them during school. He got one score back and it wasn't that great. I've noticed that they spend their time laughing, coming up with new jokes, and talking about others in the program. I've been with my fiance for 3 years. I know he needs complete silence and has to concentrate in order to study well.
So relax and don't worry....believe me....I wish I could!!!

Surgery rotation?

My husband starts 3rd year rotations on Monday for 6 weeks. We are starting out with a bang ladies! He is getting his surgery rotation out of the way. He has ER surgery for three, followed my trauma surgery. Definitely VERY exciting for him, but just wondering....what were you surgery rotation experiences coming from the wife/girlfriend side? I expect 80hr weeks, and very little husband. (Especially because I also work nights) If I get to see him more than I actually think I am.....GREAT! Just wondered what your experiences are?


Also....we are expecting #2 on October 19th!! (another good reason to get surgery out of the way!)I am also anticipating not having my husband around much, except for my time in the hospital. Although, looking on the bright side, he will have clinic rotations during that time! I don't really have much family that can help out. Some one have some encouragement out there?? :)

Thanks!

Am I crazy?

So I'm thinking if we work on communicating our feelings then our relationship should be okay. So today he asked me if everything was okay. I'm really bad at hiding my feelings even if I wanted to. My shows you what I'm thinking. So I told him that I had something to tell him, but I didn't want it to be an arguement or anything like that. All I said was, "I would appreciate it if you would let me know when you go over to a girl's apartment". He came back with, "oh so now I have to tell you everything I'm doing all day". So then it continued with him getting upset and walking back to his study room. I'm not upset about the whole situation, just wish he would have reacted differently. Am I crazy for trying to be so open with him? You know how they say some things are better left alone....was this one of them?

What You Bring

What you bring to the table, that is. After reading Kari's last post, I remembered that feeling and fear from Adam's first year. I wondered if he would begin med school with this group of future doctors and they would all be talking about their classes and medicine and I would be a dunce in the corner, picking my nose and nodding along as I compared my job to their lives.

Maybe there were moments that I felt like that, initially. However, even though I am far from a medically-versed person (I mean, I was a Psych/Spanish major...c'mon), I feel like I bring a lot to the table in our relationship and in conversations with his groups of friends. You are an interesting person, you have thoughts and opinions and views about the world. After having his anatomy group over for supper during his first year and hanging out, I realized that I could carry on a conversation with any of these people. Heck, there were even times that I had to CARRY the conversation.

Of course, they talk about what happened at the hospital, etc. And I'm okay with that- I can ask questions about what they saw, what their reactions were, what the doctor said. A lot of times, though, we can get the conversation going away from medical school and towards other things, like...life things. Girlfriends, water parks, dogs, God, family camping trips, British Literature, snow cones, whatever. And I think that's GOOD for them- to know how to talk about subjects outside of microbiology. And it's good for them to get to know the people that they sit by for two years straight. Like, really know them.

Anyways, this post was rambling but all to say that we, as spouses or girlfriends or whatever, bring a lot to the table. We are the strings holding their helium balloons of heads down to earth. Reminding them of who they are, reminding them that not everything is a competition, reminding them of life outside of medicine, reminding them that they're going to make it.

A lot of Adam's friends ended up having girlfriends/boyfriends, spouses, & fiances outside of medical school. This is a great opportunity to have REAL conversations because the significant others want to be included, too. It is more difficult when it's 1 non-student with 10 students. When you can up the number of non-students, it often helps keep everything balanced.

Okay, the end!

P.S. Even though I'm not a medical mind, I've found that I can hold a conversation about most medical things, especially once they start rotations and are out of the basic science classes. You are able to bring insight to those stories from the hospital because you are a human, by golly, and an intelligent one and they are treating humans.

Plus, they will have some great stories after their Psych rotation.

I'm smart too....

So they're studying in the room and I'm sitting in the living room trying to pay bills online. I need encouragement. I'm a science major also, so I hear them talking about macrophages and T3s and T2s and bateriophages...I know that too. Lol. I know I'm being silly. It's just a lot to take in. Especially this being our first month away from home, friends, and family. I see myself there too. I just haven't decided if that's the route to take and risk not having "us" in our future. Oh how I wish this was much simpler!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Curiosity Question...

Was anyone else interested in medical school also before meeting your husband? The reason I ask is because I always said I was going to be a doctor. I went to college, had a little too much fun (still did decent), and decided I would have to go to grad school and pick up my gpa in order to have a chance at med school. I met my fiance when I was in grad school. While in grad school I also picked up a teaching job and have been teaching since. Slowly but surely I began to go to school less and less and focused more on teaching. I'm two classes away from graduating with my masters degree, yet I find myself searching for more. I know I don't want to go to medical school anymore only because I don't want my fiance's and my path to go different directions. I've thought about going into administration, then I thought well nursing is in the medical field, but I could also do P.A. school. Now I find myself caught in between my goals and his. At the end of the day I just want to feel well accomplished and at this point I'm not exactly sure where or what that is. Any advice?

I'm not a med student, darn-it!

Ok ladies, how do you handle this? I have felt like just an extenuation of med school with my husband lately. It seems like spending time together and being married is just another thing for him to check off. Scott is behind in his rotations due to some health problems so we are about 3/4 of the way through our third year. This has caused us both a lot of stress. We will be staying an extra year so that he can catch up and do some research. How do you handle the stress of our guys being all about medicine 24/7? Where is the off button? :) I'd like to spend some time with hubby Scott not not Dr. Must get everything done now and right and perfect Scott. Any suggestions?

It hasn't helped that I've recently stopped taking birth control. I loved my pill b/c it kept me sane. Not taking the pill makes me very anxious but we do want to have kids so..... I'm just going to ride this hormonal wave until I can learn to adapt. But like I said it doesn't help with the nonstop med student life.

first real arguement

So fiance and I had our first real arguement. I went out tonight with his friend from medschool and his girlfriend. After leaving the bar and arriving at Whataburger, I did not call him to let him know I was okay. I figured I'd call when I got home to let him know I was home okay. Apparently he wanted me to call him when I left the bar, when I left the restaraunt, and when I got home. This ended up turning into a huge arguement. And of course thanks to my big mouth turned into something bigger than what it needed to be. He went out last week with same guy except no girlfriend and some girl they go to school with. He posted a picture online of them three and I admit I was jealous. I do not know who this girl is and I would like to meet her. Instead of making it an arguement I just let him know that I'd like to meet this person. I left it alone. But tonight when he was yelling at me for not calling him to let him know that I was okay. I flipped out. Yes I'm thankful that he was concerned about me, but I really felt like he was wanting me to "report" to him. I have a huge problem with that. I then expressed how upset I was about him going out with this unknown woman but I didn't make it a big deal because I gave him the benefit of the doubt and knew that Id soon meet her. But he doesn't do the same for me. I'm just so confused now. We get married in 49 days. He said something like "I don't need to be married to a person who is insecure because people will be able to see you like that"....and then he said something like, "I dont want to have to be having conversations like this while I'm busy in medical school trying to study". I dont know what to say, think, or do. Any advice?

Newbe saying Hello

Hi Everyone! I just wanted to stop by and briefly introduce myself. My name is Karina and my fiance just started med school at UTMB in Galveston, TX. I know this is going to be a difficult journey for us and I am looking for support from others who have been there or are going through the same thing. I hope to gain new friendships with this blog and hope that I am not constantly blogging to myself. :) Have a great weekend!