Why I love third year (for the MS2s)

I cannot speak too much as to first year because my husband and I were 365 miles (a 6 hour drive or a 12 hours by a short car ride with two train rides to allow for adequate study time while I was in law school) apart. But I can speak in regards to second and third years of medical school. Second year the days were long (but manageable) but the excitement and nervousness of first year had worn off for Drew. While he was still excited about his dreams of becoming a doctor he began to get worn down with the long days of his nose in a book. The only change from studying and lectures was to practice on fake patients. Drew didn't really enjoy this first year and then only to continue it in second year to advance to doing pelvic and rectal exams was no improvement. The year dragged on for Drew and he was often exhausted.We were worried to start third year; we had heard it was going to be tough, long days, busy weekends and very little free time. I guess with all the worrying about how "terrible" it was going to be we weren't really prepared for Drew to enjoy it.Once Drew got past the orientation part of his rotation he would come home each night so excited. He was different, it was like someone had relighted his fire and passion for medicine. Drew started with "longs" which are Internal Medicine (IM) and Surgery (and are called longs because they are 10 weeks, rather than the rest of the clerkships which are only six.) Typically the "longs" are considered the most intense and most demanding. And while they most certainly were, I still can say that Drew (and even I) have been so much happier than last year. Internal medicine usually started at six or seven and he was usually home by six or seven. He was gone Saturday mornings but most of his Sundays were protected (meaning he had the whole day off). Surgery was a little less consistent. Most days he started at five or so and was done by five-ish but there were the occasional days where he got out in the early afternoon or other days where he went till 8 or 9 at night. Weekends were the same is internal medicine. While this seems miserable keep in mind that Drew's "shorts" psychiatry and Oby-gyn thus far have been shorter days and offered him most weekends off.Although the schedule of IM and surgery seems intense, it was really quite bearable. I kept myself busy by visiting friends some weekends and we made every Sunday our day, all day, even if it meant laying down on the couch all day. I have also learned to love even simply times like when I lay in his lap while he studies. While I have gotten a little off-course (thanks for staying with me here) the point of my post, is that I have found third year to be the most rewarding. There have been so many days where Drew has come home so excited, and although exhausted he couldn't wait to tell me what he got to see, hear, or do that day. For us it was like all that time that he had spent with his nose buried in a book had finally paid off. He has finally gotten to see so many of the things he had only before read about. He is actually working with real patients, with real problems. It made the idea of becoming a doctor a little more real. My favorite of course was surgery because each night I could watch his eyes light up with such awe and enthusiasm as he spoke about his day. It didn't matter what he spoke about, it wasn't what he said, it was just so wonderful as a spouse to see the one I love find his passion. It was the acknowledgement and satisfaction that all his hard work (studying and self-discipline) had paid off. I think it also provided a huge amount of joy and relief for him to not only know that medicine really was his calling, but also to know what your calling is.And while finding the right specialty can be stressful for some, when they do find it, there is just a huge sense of relief and contentment. So if your spouse struggles to find something they like my advice is to try and calm their fears and encourage them to just learn from what (rotation/clerkship) they are in, even it means learning that they never want to do it ever again!So while third year takes some accommodation and adaptation, it is a very exciting time - especially as a significant other getting to watch your spouse transform from a student to a future doctor.

A quick intro from me to you :)

While I've been a member of this blog for quite sometime, I've yet to actually post. So, here ya go. My name is Shirley, my hubby is Wes, and we have an adorable baby Bichon named King Louis, who just turned three (so in dog years he's 21 - not so much a baby anymore!) We currently live in Virginia, where Wes is finishing up his third year of med school. I can hardly believe that we're about to enter the fourth and final year of this wonderful experience. It's been quite the journey, and we're both anticipating its conclusion. I am a middle school teacher, who is described by her students as 'really southern and really preppy.' Guess that's not too bad of a thing to be called, huh? I teach Civics and Economics to some of the most rambunctious teenagers this side of the Mason Dixon line! I love it, though, and wouldn't change careers for anything in this world!

When Wes isn't studying, taking an exam, seeing a patient, or telling me about some 'weird' thing he saw in the hospital, we enjoy gardening, taking rides on the Blue Ridge Parkway, listening to classical music, going out on 'date nights', and just plain enjoying being hubby and wifey. We'll celebrate our first year of marriage on August 31st - we can hardly believe we're at the seven month mark!

We're pretty average folks, who just happen to be going through the 'med school experience.' We both love to meet new people, so when I told Wes I signed onto this blog, he thought it was a great idea!

I promise to post more often - it's so great to share a 'connection' with other people in the same 'boat.'

Happy Monday, Y'all!

Shirley & Wes

cleaning up shop

okay I think I got everyone added to the "who we are" section on the blog.

If I missed anyone or you want me to change the link, name, etc. please let me know. If I couldn't open your blog (because its private) I just put a link to your profile.

Then I sorted them alphabetically just to make it easy.

ALSO... I know a while ago we discussed changing the name of the blog. What are your thoughts on that? Because most of you said you wanted to but then we never decided a name. Here are a few that were suggested:

• The Mrs.'s of Med School
• Mrs. Med School
• Med School Groupies
• The Doctor's Wife (link taken so we would have to change a little)
• Confessions of a Doctors Wife
• Supporting the Student
• Dr. Wife (link taken so we would have to change a little)
• The Real life of a Doctors Wife
• Behind the Scenes
• Backstage Crew
• Behind every great man
• The Wives Club (link also taken)

any other ideas??

Once we pick a name I'm happy to work on sprucing up the blog some and doing a cute header etc. (Fabulous K does great ones!)

Another forum for med school wives

For anyone who is interested there is another blog being started up by a bunch of medical (attendings, residents and medschool) wives. It is a similar idea to this blog except it will also be a forum for dialogue, questions and even rants so it is a private group - so that no one has to worry about bosses or superiors coming across our personal topics. If anyone is interested in joining please email me at marriedtoamedicalstudent@gmail.com and I will gladly send you an invitation.

Also a random question - how do I get our names in that column on the right?

Please allow me to introduce myself

My name is Marissa, I currently reside in central Illinois where I live with my husband who is a third year medical student. I just spent the afternoon reading through all the prior blog posts - and I must say it was quite refreshing. So many of the posts reflected the exact thoughts and feelings that have gone through my mind and it was a relief to know that I am normal and not alone.

In adding to your comments about what people have told you about marrying a doctor, I would like to add that I am a new attorney so you can imagine the comments I get. We are going into the two professions that are infamous for divorce. Most of the lawyers that I am around tell me to make sure that I get something in writing since I am "putting my husband through med school" (although my wages aren't even enough to help pay for tuition), and since my firm does quite a bit of family law they will always tell me about all the doctor's divorces they are working on -and my thoughts are "you don't know my drew." And although others probably view us as ignorant - it is calming to know that there are others who feel the same way. I'm sorry but your career doesn't cause your marriage to fail; people cause a marriage to fail. I'd like to think that all that we are going through now is strengthening our marriage, and personally I think it gives our marriages an advantage. Spouses who enter the picture after medical school won't have the same bonds as we have gotten.

For wives in their first and second years I'd like to post in the future about why I love third year. And since we're gearing up to apply for residencies (yay!) I'd love to hear from some fourth year and resident's wives!
Please introduce yourselves by stopping by my blog! www.marriedtoamedicalstudent.blogspot.com

Babies on a Budget

**updated with random pictures (just for the heck of it) and a link**

I've been meaning to post about this for a while. I remember a post a while back about having babies in med school and wanted to throw in my two cents from our experience.
At the beginning of hubby's fourth year of med school, I gave birth to our first child. Since before we were married, we were both committed to me staying home and raising our children. So, even though that meant that we'd be without income until he started residency, I quit my job and stayed home. (And by home I mean our tiny one-bedroom apartment in Houston.) Obviously that decision required a strict budget and some creative ways to save money. So I thought I'd share some of my thoughts and practices in this little journey of having babies while hubby has been working his way through med school and training.

• Breastfeed. It doesn't take a doctor's wife to know the far superior nutritional benefit of breastmilk. But in case that doesn't convince you, it's F-R-E-E! That, and super convenient. No sterilizing bottles, heating up milk, etc. So for at least the first 6 months of your baby's life, no food cost. Hello!


• Make your own baby food. This can save you a ton. Fruits & veggies don't cost very much and making a batch of purees once a week doesn't take a lot of time. You don't need fancy machines to do it. Just steam in the microwave, toss the cooked veggies plus the leftover cooking liquid in to the blender, whirl, spoon out into ice cube trays, and freeze. I would usually pop out the little food cubes once frozen and organize them into labeled ziplock baggies. Whenever it's mealtime, take out some cubes (you can even combine them: a cube of sweet potato with a cube of broccoli), and heat them up in the microwave.


• Cloth diapers. Man, are disposable diapers expensive! They're about $30-40 a month. I just recently (with my second child) switched to cloth. I had no idea how easy modern cloth diapers were. And they work really well. I have about 10 diapers and spent under $200. Sure, that's a big up-front cost, but it saves you a bunch in the long run and if you decide on them while you're still preggers, you can ask for them as gifts. Best cost-saver with these is to buy the BumGenius brand, one-size, pocket diapers. They'll fit your baby from infancy until he/she is potty-trained. Cloth diapers do require a special detergent (I use Charlie's Soap), but it works out to be only about 16 cents per load. (Obviously, the more diapers you have, the less often you have to do wash but I could only afford to start out with 10 so I do a load about 3 times a week.)


• Clothes. We are blessed with fabulous parents that love to spoil their grandchildren with adorable clothes and other necessities. But if you're not in the same boat, eBay, Craig's List and second-hand stores are the way to go. You can get some really cute, even designer clothes for cheap. Or you can swap clothes if you have a friend with kiddos a year ahead or behind yours. Kids grow out of clothes so quickly that it's not worth investing in their clothes.


• Toys and other stuff. Craig's List has been my go-to on this one. For our firstborn's first birthday we spent all of $6 total on his gifts: a snow sled and a swing for the backyard.
  
• Have it at home. This is a no-brainer, but when it comes to birthday parties, have a get-together at home. Who cares if the rest of your kid's friends are spending hundreds to have some themed birthday event elsewhere, the kiddos have just as much fun with a pinata, pin-the-tail, and bbq at home.
  



• Free Entertainment. Most cities have tons of free events and admission for kids. Here in Denver, all of the museums, the zoo and other fun attractions have free days throughout the year. I put them all on my calendar and when we're available we go. Now that our firstborn is a little older, Daddy takes him to the free workshops Home Depot has once a month. He has a blast making the projects with Daddy and they even gave him a little orange Home Depot apron and he gets a little pin to put on it for each project he does. The library is also one of our faves. They have a weekly storytime for little ones and we check out a bunch of books while we're there every week. We're also part of a playgroup (we found it through Meetup.com). There are about 50 members and most of the playdates are free, either hosted at a park or someone's house.

I realize these ideas aren't novel. You'd no doubt figure them out on your own. I just thought that maybe by sharing some of what we do to make things work, it will seem less overwhelming if you are in the same position now or in the future. Being a med student (or resident) and having a family aren't mutually exclusive. Not only can you make it work financially by adjusting your lifestyle, you can still have great family time together. Actually, my hubby got to spend a TON of time home with our firstborn since he was in his fourth year of school and even had an entire month off.

If you have any other ideas or thoughts, please comment! For other great money-saving ideas in general, check out this post from Money Saving Mom.

Gettin' Ready for Step 1

So, some of you are in this boat, some of you- not yet, and some of you have already sailed this boat across the great med school ocean with success. Studying for Step 1. My hubs is in his 2nd year and preparing to take Step 1 at the end of May. It is a funny/weird time because our first baby is due April 19th...his last day of class is April 22nd...and then boards are coming up quickly after that (the end of May). So we are trying to figure out what studying will look like for him once I'm home with the bambino.

On the plus side, the first few weeks of Henry's life, Adam (husband) will be able to make his own schedule. That's going to be nice. However, I know how important the boards are and making adequate time to study, not just now while he's still in school, but once that big break hits and study time kicks into high gear.

Any hints/tips out there on how to encourage/support/help your husband with this vigorous preparation?